Fishing For Women
by Yunity
Summary: Inspired by Studio C, and thus is a total Crack-Fic. Please enjoy! SUMMARY: The boys (Roy, Mal, Connor, Wally, Dick, Jason, Jaime, Tim, and Bart) go to the mall with a contest: who can woo the most girls? Who will win? Who will lose? Zatanna and M'gann don't even want to know...


**Hey people! Welcome to my one-shot! Yay! Who will win...?**

 **I do not own.**

* * *

M'gann and Zatanna looked up from their cookbook at the passing boys. "Where are you going?" M'gann asked sweetly.

"Fishing." Connor answered simply.

"But you don't have rods." Zatanna pointed out.

"Not that kind of fishing, gorgeous." Wally winked, disappearing into Zeta. The rest followed, including: Dick, Bart, Jaime, Connor, Wally, Tim, Jason, Mal, and Roy.

The two looked at each other and shrugged. They didn't want to know.

* * *

Standing in the mall, the boys elected Bart go first. He nodded, taking a deep breath and shaking out his limbs. He then spied around before finding someone suitable.

He swaggered up to the girl, a smile plastered on his face. "Did you fall from heaven? Cause you look like an angel." He told the blonde. He heard several groans behind him at the over-used line, but kept on smiling. The girl gave him a disgusted, snobby smirk.

"No, I came from down there." She jabbed a finger at the ground. "Now scat, Junior."

Bart did just that, face pale and moving only slightly too fast for a normal person. Wally shook his head, tutting at his little-brother figure. "That's not a point bud." He sighed, shaking his clipboard.

"Moving on! Next oldest, Timmy!"

 **Bart: 0**

* * *

Tim looked around, finding just the right girl. He tried to conjure all his observations on how Bruce flirted when putting on the "Brucie" act, and took up the smartest approach.

He held his head down, trying to look little and innocent. He "accidentally" stumbled straight into a girl. She jumped and turned around.

Tim shrunk back, blinking away "tears." "I-I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to-"

"Oh no! It's ok, hey there, can you look at me?"

Tim reluctantly raised his eyes, and the girl and her friends gasped before giggling. "They're so _blue_!"

They were right. Even if he didn't have the glowing electric blue eyes of his older brother, his shocking tiffany ones more than served their purpose.

"I'm r-really sorry I bumped into you… I should have watched where I was going-"

"No, hey, look here, here's my number. You can call me later sometime and make it up, mm?"

Tim smiled shyly, lighting his eyes up. "R… really?"

"Sure."

He impulsively hugged her, nodding enthusiastically. "Thank you!"

She laughed as he ran off. Tim smiled hopefully as he waved the number at the rest of his group.

"Come on! Dude!" Bart complained. "I just got moded."

"Ch, yeah you did!" Jaime snickered.

"I wouldn't feel so smug, kid, you're up next." Roy laughed as Jaime paled.

"Y-yeah, ok…"

 **Bart: 0**

 **Tim: 2 (extra points for her being older than him)**

* * *

Jaime scratched the back of his head, tapping on another girl's shoulder. She turned and he smiled weakly. "Hey, uh, um, hi, I'm Jaime and, uh, giiirl…" he changed his tone of voice, attempting to sound more confident. "I'm no organ donor, but for you I'd gladly give my heart!"

She furrowed her brow. "Uh… I have a boyfriend…"

Jaime paled. "Oh, uh, yeah, ok… I knew that…" he scurried off, blushing mad. His friends burst out laughing.

"You shoulda' seen the look on your face!" Jason cried. Jaime sent him a glare.

"Well, it's _your_ turn, ñaño."

Jason rolled his eyes, cracking his knuckles. "I know. Ready to be shamed."

 **Bart: 0**

 **Tim: 2**

 **Jaime: 0**

* * *

Jason decided to choose carefully, not wanting to have a "I have a boyfriend" situation. His eyes locked on a group of girls showing a lot of legs and bare shoulders. They seemed like the fickle, popular type. Perfect.

He turned and winked at his brothers, squaring his shoulders and putting a confident, easy smirk on his face as he approached. "Hey."

All the girls spun toward him. Stars started in their eyes, his broad, muscular shape coupled with his billionaire smile, slightly messy, nearly black, blood red hair and bright teal eyes making an exotic compilation that brought girls begging.

"Hi…" the leader sighed dreamily. "Can we help you?"

"Do you girls have a map?"

The said girls searched on their persons, looking to him with apologetic expressions. "No… are you lost?" The leader asked.

"Yeah, in your eyes." He smiled, leaning in so their noses were almost touching. She blushed, her lips curling into a smile. The other girls sighed while the leader giggled. "And I need your coordinates."

"That is so cheesy!" the leader cried, her contradictory grin growing.

"But did it work?"

She laughed. "Yes, yes it did!" she handed him a slip of paper after scribbling on it. A couple other girls grinned and handed him one, while the rest wiggled their brows in a way of saying: "You know how to find me."

He saluted, strutting back to his friends/brothers. He flicked Jaime on the nose, taunting him by waving the papers in front of his face. "Beat that!"

Jaime sighed while Wally took note.

"Wait, isn't 'Wing supposed to go next?" Bart asked. Nightwing smiled.

"I've gotta' go last, want to leave some for the rest of you."

Jaime and Bart rolled their eyes, "as if."

"So who's next, then?" Tim asked.

"Oh." Wally blinked. "That would be me." He handed the clipboard to Nightwing, who smiled sadistically.

 **Bart: 0**

 **Tim: 2**

 **Jaime: 0**

 **Jason: 5**

* * *

Wally found a girl after a couple minutes, swaggering up and leaning on her shoulder. "I like the way you move… like butter on a bald monkey."

She stared at him with a disgusted face for a second, then wacked him hard before growling and stomping away.

Wally came back, slightly forlorn, to find his friends laughing hysterically.

"Butter on a _bald monkey?!_ DUDE!" Bart fell down.

"I found it on the internet." Wally muttered.

"I'm next." Connor shrugged.

 **Bart: 0**

 **Tim: 2**

 **Jaime: 0**

 **Jason: 5**

 **Wally: -2**

* * *

Connor walked to the first girl he spotted. He stopped in front of her.

"Hey."

"Hello…?" she shook her head.

"Can I have your number."

"Uh… sure. You _are_ kind of cute." She handed a piece of paper to the clone.

He walked away after a quick "thank you."

"Dude, seriously?" Wally complained.

"Seriously." Nightwing grinned.

 **Bart: 0**

 **Tim: 2**

 **Jaime: 0**

 **Jason: 5**

 **Wally: -2**

 **Connor: 1**

* * *

Mal took a deep breath, smiling at the brunette in front of him. "'Ey, I'm Mal. Can I ask your name?"

The girl raised an eyebrow. "Leslie."

"Hey, Leslie. Your… can I get your number?"

"Sorry, I don't share personal stuff with others." She smiled apologetically.

Mal shrugged. "That's ok." He made his way to his friends, who also shrugged with smiles. Last was Roy… before Night.

 **Bart: 0**

 **Tim: 2**

 **Jaime: 0**

 **Jason: 5**

 **Wally: -2**

 **Connor: 1**

 **Mal: 0**

* * *

Roy didn't think it was ok to cheat on Cheshire… but she had said as long as he didn't invite anyone out or spend a night then she was fine. So here he was.

He took a deep breath, and, with the removal of his shades, approached a group of girls. "Hey."

They looked to him.

"My friends don't think I can win, so would you be kind enough to give me your numbers?"

The girls gave confused looks. He shrugged. "Do what you want, but I want to win, and you girls _are_ gorgeous."

The girls smiled at the compliment. A black-haired one with perfect, chocolate skin stepped forward. "To help you win. But don't mind using it anyway." She winked.

Roy received a few more, nodding and strutting back to his friends. Jason groaned, seeing Roy had passed him.

"Roy, I think you just won." Bart lamented sadly.

"No. He didn't." Nightwing said.

 **Bart: 0**

 **Tim: 2**

 **Jaime: 0**

 **Jason: 5**

 **Wally: -2**

 **Connor: 1**

 **Mal: 0**

 **Roy: 6**

* * *

Dick set his jaw into his crooked smirk, the one that drove girls mad.

He walked to the middle of the mall, Tim following, smirking at the very confused Jaime and Bart. Jason followed to, an even larger (and very sadistic) smirk on his face.

Dick jumped up on the fountains rim, pulling his hoodie over his head. Somehow, his black hair still remained adorably messy, glossy and shiny and perfect. Underneath he somehow had a perfectly pressed royal blue dress-shirt with a black vest and a meticulously tied black tie. His dress shirt remained untucked, falling over his dark skinny jeans stylishly.

Half the mall looked to him, his stance calling for attention. He flapped his hand in a silly, taunting way at his friends, straightening. He raised his hands slowly to his black Ray Bans, smirking as the whole mall tensed in anticipation to see who he was. Tim and Jason had already fallen into "security guard" stances.

A sharp intake of breath happened as his hand made contact with the shades. Then he flicked them off, revealing amazing electric eyes- mixed blues coming together to make a shocking, nearly glowing color. Even a few shades of violet.

He grabbed a microphone Jason handed him, smiling. "Hey, everyone!" he called charismatically, falling into his Romani accent to add to his "adorableness" factor. "I'm Richard Wayne, and the manager of the mall said I could come and sing you gals a song today. So, who's ready?"

Suddenly, all the girls realized that not only was the young man a ripped, athletic, hot, exotic guy- but also that he _sang_ , and he was a celebrity worthy of a boy-band. Some got out phones, some rushed up to the protective lines Tim and Jason had put up (hey, they were celebrities to… but honestly, who could compare to the Golden Boy of Gotham?).

Dick smiled nicely, black bangs falling in his eyes shyly. Jason started the music. Then, Dick started singing. He had the voice of an angel, and a shy smile to match.

 _(Insert made-up song, Jesse McCartney song, or any other you really like)_

By the time he finished, seemingly every girl in the mall had gathered, all dreamy eyed. Dick stopped, tucking his bangs behind his ear only to let them fall back out again. "Thank ya, everyone!" he kept his childhood accent, knowing it drove girls crazy, especially when he occasionally tripped over a word or two.

He pulled back on his black hoodie and shades, pulling the hood up and running away, not wanting to deal with fans right then. He melted into the shadows, leaving disappointed but still more than pleased girls.

Jason and Tim ushered the friends to a certain point of the mall, where a certain Boy Wonder sat grinning in his hoodie. The team, well, most of them, stared at their stoic leader in shock.

"Dude! What _was_ that?!" Jaime cried.

"That, dear friend," Dick cackled, "Was how you fish."

 **Bart: 0**

 **Tim: 2**

 **Jaime: 0**

 **Jason: 5**

 **Wally: -2**

 **Connor: 1**

 **Mal: 0**

 **Roy: 6**

 **Dick: 379**

* * *

 **Want to know something funny? I actually found Wally's flirting statement online. Someone literally suggested that.**

 **Anyway, I enjoyed this. Maybe one day I'll do a "Fishing For Men." Which girl do you think would be the best?**

 **So yep, please follow/fave and... REVIEW! _PLEASE?!_**

 **Thanks.**

 _ **~Universe**_


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